SENT TO ICELAND MINISTERS AND EMBASSIES for ANTI WHALE HUNT

sent to Iceland prime ministers office and ambassadorShare


Monday, 13 July 2009 at 20:48
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Elected representatives of Iceland and your Highness the Ambassador and Your Majesty The prime Minister of Iceland...



My name is Tor Torvsson. I live in Ostbonger in south Iceland.

My problem is this. Here the nights are long and dark and me and my fishing friends have very big appetites.

Unfortunately our wives are quite ugly ,so we have to spend the nights drinking and filling our bellies. We tell stories to each other over camp fires about our bravery,and the storms at sea .But nothing takes our minds off the fact that we have very ugly wives at home ..in fact some of the ugliest women in the world my friend Ingvarg said ,but he hasn't travelled the world,so factually he is wrong though I understand his opinion. My problem is that we are putting on weight these days ..we were once quite slim ,but since we eat so much whale meat we have become very very fat. Ingvarg says his sweat attracts all the dogs of the village ,and we ask him not to disrespect his wife like that because she too is a good Lutheran protestant like he is. Yes we eat too much whale meat far too much,much too much..but it takes our minds off our ugly wives. Freud would say it helps us to become repressed, sexually repressed. In turn this makes us more angry ,so as you see actually our ugly wives make us angry in a long~winded kind of way

So what ,you may say what has this to do with the prime minister of Iceland.

Eating whale meat and being sexually repressed is a tradition ,and we tell all non Lutheran nations that we believe in Traditions ..proud Viking Traditions. Except the Vikings preferred to rape pretty women in other countries and today Icelandic fishermen are not allowed to do this,this is a tradition that we are not allowed to follow. Ingvarg says this is a shame ....but we remind him he is a good Lutheran not a Viking.What we think is that as happy traditional Icelandic fishermen,instead of repressed Vikings,we must eat more whale meat...I think most psychologists would agree that taking away good Viking sex and replacing it with ugly wives and whales is not a perfect solution so we think the Prime Minister of Iceland should help.

Our request is this:

Can we please please please have a bigger frying pan ....let me explain...We love (especially Ingavarg he loves it), we love to eat Whale Tail...and as you can understand we only have a small frying pan and the whale's tail is far too big. Far far too big. Ingvarg is a terrible cook....

Okay as a compromise if you cannot send us a bigger frying pan ....about 4 metres wide made of good Norwegian steel,,try buying one at LIDL (they have good offers on fisherman's ear muffs too.)

Okay instead of the frying pan please send us some Tofu. We know that it looks the same as whale blubber and it has the same consistency..a bit rubbery and, like whale meat needs onions and salt. Luckily, Ingvarg was harpooning some Tofu in the bath yesterday and he says that if u spear Tofu with a fork it sinks to the bottom of the bath....very similar to harpooning a whale...they usually sink to the bottom of the sea.

So please send us some Tofu ....this means Ingvarg will be happy and we can eat as much as we like without getting fat.

And once we have lost weight, some of us will become more attractive to younger women.Then we can divorce our wives in the traditional Viking manner by throwing them over the boat into a cold Icy Icelandic sea ~we love traditions!(okay that is a joke really ,har#har).

More Tofu

no whale meat

Prettier wives

less alcohol

slimmer fishermen

and Vikings

Ingvarg always does hate cooking the whale's penis....and often he would choke when trying to swallow it. So please help him ,by sending us Tofu.

to ;

The Ostvost Fishermens collective

Backdoor Lutheran Church Hall

(Near the Ostvost Sexual Utlities and Whale~products shop)

Ostvost

Iceland



yours